JESSICA LAGROTTA

FIERY ADVENTURER. PASSIONATE MOTHER.

MEET JESSICA LAGROTTA

For Jessica Lagrotta, 44, gratitude and a zest of life emerged in the most unlikely of places: in the midst of three tragedies. In August 2021, an itch led Jessica, then 43, to discover a pea-sized lump in her left breast. Then, on the day of her biopsy, a fire caused by a faulty bathroom fan destroyed her home. The next day, she learned she had breast cancer. For four months, she lived in a hotel with her two children while her home was repaired and while she underwent treatment – all during the Covid 19 pandemic. A single mom, Jessica got through it, with thanks to her indomitable spirit and the support of her parents, siblings, and extended family.

Although Jessica was not too concerned when she first discovered the lump, the severity of the situation hit her two days later during her mammogram, when was told she needed a biopsy. Her world began to spin as she thought of her kids and how she would take care of them. She knew the physical toll that cancer treatment would take: She had seen her father endure two bouts of it; but she had also seen him overcome it.

Jessica received the result of her biopsy the day after fire destroyed her home: She had very aggressive stage 1 breast cancer that tests showed was likely to recur. So, Jessica’s doctors decided to give her what she calls “the full spa package:” lumpectomy, chemotherapy, radiation, and 5 to 10 years of hormone-blocking therapy.

Jessica finished her last radiation treatment this summer before enjoying the rest of the season on the North Bruce Peninsula with family and friends. Now, she has transformed the lessons from these harrowing challenges into a new appreciation for life and reclamation of her adventurous spirit. Jessica lives in Toronto, Canada, with her children, Charlize (10) and Chase (7).

WHAT IS THE SECRET TO MAINTAINING A POSITIVE OUTLOOK?

My first secret is to enjoy all the moments. Live day by day. Surround myself with people I love. My family is a huge part of my happiness and joy. My kids bring me the most joy. Spending quality time with them and going on lots of adventures together helps me stay positive and happy. Even in my worst moments during treatment, I made sure we had something to look forward to. We went on adventures, visiting my cottage, going on a road trip, or even doing something as simple as apple picking as soon as I was well enough to get up. My cottage is my happy place. Throughout chemo, I would drag myself out of bed, and drive three hours to our family cottage to heal before the next round. Traveling or having a plan to travel and something to look forward to always helps.

My second secret is to surround myself with love and my people. Four incredible women in particular have become my biggest source of support. They have all helped me stay positive and focused, and have given me the solicited guidance.

My third is to carve out time for me. Working out and staying active every day helps me stay positive. Movement through chemo treatments helped me with my post chemo pain. 

My fourth, I stay off of the internet. I didn’t take much comfort from breast cancer support groups on Facebook (other than iRise Above Breast Cancer). Reading other people’s breast cancer stories and going down the rabbit hole about the possibilities and outcomes made me feel worse, so I focused on mine.

WHAT IS THE MOST DIFFICULT DECISION YOU’VE HAD TO MAKE TO PURSUE YOUR DESTINY?

I’ve made many difficult decisions, but they were mostly sacrifices for my kids. As a single mom, they rely on me for every whim. My destiny is something I have not thought about in a long time, since, for the moment, it is to be the best mom to my kids.

I think a person’s destiny is fluid; there can be multiple destinies depending on where you are on your journey. Before kids, I traveled the world as a gypsy of sorts - experiencing, tasting, smelling, and feeling anything I wanted to feel. I’ve jumped out of planes and bungee jumped. I’ve chased thrills and never held back. I pursued many things through the years: I obtained my certificate as a registered reflexologist and in acupressure; later, I went off to university as a mature student while working full time in banking just to prove to myself I could, and I graduated with honors. For the past few years, my destiny has been very singular and not about me, and I wouldn’t change it for the world. I think breast cancer has taught me to find a balance. Life will force you to look at yourself if you start to lose that, or if you get too comfortable not pursuing your destiny. It’s time that I start incorporating a new one. 

WHAT IS THE MOST DIFFICULT DECISION YOU’VE HAD TO MAKE TO PURSUE YOUR DESTINY?

The theme song from the Rocky III movie: Eye of the Tiger. On chemo days, I wore a sweater I had made with a quote from that movie on it: “You’re going to eat lightning and you’re gonna crap thunder!” This song is a little cliché I know, but it’s a good one! 

WHAT IS THE BEST LIFE LESSON THAT TOOK YOU THE LONGEST TO LEARN?

To accept people for who they are and not to take it all so personally. I had an extremely high standard for people in my life. I held them to the same level of integrity that I live by. But … life is hard. We are all on our own paths. Accepting people and forgiving them comes with many lessons. I’m still working on that. Bob Marley has been quoted as saying: “The truth is, everyone will hurt you at some point, you’ve just got to find the ones worth suffering for.”  No one is perfect. Life will ebb and flow - and so do people. Nothing is permanent. 

WHAT QUALITY ABOUT YOURSELF WOULD YOU LIKE TO PASS ON TO YOUR CHILD?

I want my kids to go after their passions. I never hesitated to follow my passions growing up. If I wanted something I worked for it and achieved it. This is how I’ve always been. I never asked for help, I just did it. I worked hard and never took anything for granted. The older you get and the more you travel and experience life, the more aware you become how fortunate we are for everything, for simple things like running water to bigger things like freedom of speech. 

WHAT AND WHO IS WORTH SUFFERING FOR?

My kids. Period. They are my Achilles heel. Before kids, I didn’t have any fear. They changed my world and my perspective. They changed me. I would suffer for them without question, and I would hide my suffering while I did it.

BREAST CANCER RELATED

WHAT IS THE MOST POSITIVE THING TO COME OUT OF YOUR BREAST CANCER JOURNEY?

Aside from learning to chill out - and not to take things so seriously - it’s been meeting amazing women and/or reconnecting with them; they have inspired, and continue to inspire me, in so many ways. Tragedy brings clarity; it highlights the people in your life who have your back …. and I know without a doubt who has mine. 

WHAT ADVICE WOULD YOU GIVE TO YOURSELF WHEN YOU WERE FIRST DIAGNOSED?

To breathe. Take it one day at a time. Only worry about what’s happening today. 

BIG PICTURE

WHAT IS THE PURPOSE OF HUMAN EXPERIENCE?

Love – whether it’s to feel it with someone, or experience a love or passion for something. That’s life.